Oh where have you been my blue eyed son? and where have you been my darling young one ?
Well. Misty mountians and crooked highways didn't feature too strongly, but in a nutshell my wanderings took in Cornwall, Devon, Somerset, London, Leicester and back to Portsmouth.
And being as I'm a bit of a closet Luddite and not possessing of a hand held blackberry I pod internet thingy, there's been no blog for a month whilst I've been on the road seeking fame and fortune.(neither of which I managed admirably).
So that's my excuse and I've witnesses to prove it.
The reason for my abstinence from poo picking was multi faceted. Firstly,my mission was to seek out and buy two black female alpacas to add to our troop. For too long now we have been sadly lacking in the 'black female' department (ie none) and owning a terrific black male only makes it even more frustrating.
Not too difficult a task you might think.Two alpacas.Female. Solid blue-black. Piece a cake.
Why then did I end up buying one white,one fawn, two browns and a grey!?!
That's nothing like two blacks. Not even close. The colours are all wrong and I seem to have three too many.
I tried, really I did but the quality of blacks I was seeking came at a price and the temptation of a herd dispersal sale of some cracking quality pregnant females won me over and my plan went to pot.
I cautiously informed Jayne of my purchases and after a brief pause with the phone at arms length it was decided I shouldn't do the shopping in future.
One of the girls is almost black,sort of very very very dark brown and another is mated to Popham Equador (black) so we might get lucky with the offspring. I shall collect them at the end of the month and post some pics.
I spent the rest of the first week working at Popham Farm to pay off a previous debt and drinking heavily.
Next stop, London to visit my brother the comedian. No,really he is. Full time stand up,author/script writer.Check him out if you like a laugh,(and who doesn't?) Bit difficult to hang a label on so I've lifted this revue from 'Chortle'
Liam Mullone
“Though he appears distracted and bewildered, absent-mindedly
running his hand through his messy hair as he tries to wrap his mind
around the stupidities of the world, he’s actually a deceptively sharp
operator.
He tackles topics off the
usual comedy palette, whether an obscure fact or a grumpily nihilistic
take on the human condition with intelligence and a flick of
surrealism. Rather than simply accepting the default comic impression
that life is shit, he gives the impression he’s thoroughly researched
the idea – both in academic theory and through the unforgiving practice
of having lived a bit – before coming to the same, cynical conclusion.
As
a former journalist and obituary-writer, he uses language elegantly,
making complex ideas accessible yet funny; while his amiably shambolic
style, redolent of a befuddled but bright don, is similarly disarming.
Rarely does someone who seems so confused prove so incisive.”
Much more eloquently put than I could have done.
Unfortunately being undeniably gifted at his craft leaves him lacking in other areas as is often the case with driven talent.
Which is where I come in..Commisioned to re-floor all of his flat in Dulwich.
London is a scary place to country bumpkins. Too many people.Too much traffic. A mile trip to the local B&Q takes half a day and god help you if you take a wrong turn. There's no getting back. Your destination slips from view as you get swept along in the maelstrom of angry traffic. Like driftwood in a fast flowing river.
Liam was performing at Winchester one night so I went along with him to watch the show. The trip required the use of the tube, buses and a train all synchronized to hop from one to the other with surprising efficiency considering all the people.I tagged along behind as we rushed around the metropolis with absolutely no idea where we were going next. Finally we boarded the 18.35 for the last leg of the journey and it was crammed with commuters. We walked the length of the train in search of a seat but with no luck.As we walked through each of the carriages it struck me that everyone, almost without exception, were sitting staring into their mobile phones or laptops or I pads seemingly oblivious to their neighbours.Their fingers dancing over keyboards,ears plugged with headphones. Hundreds of people all in a trance.
.All aboard the zombie express. It sent a chill down my spine.
We settled at the buffet bar, had a standing room only drink and I thanked my lucky stars my life was so different.
It was great to see Liam and George and the twins, Digory and Atticus I hadn't yet seen them and now almost a year old. It would be nice to say they loved their new alpaca cardys made entirely in house from Quelvehin alpacas, but I don't think at eleven months you really give a fig.... but they looked cool anyhow.
After a week of bacon sandwiches the job was done and it was time to move on. Another floor was waiting for me in Rutland and my mum wanted her kitchen moving six inches to the left. (long story)
As Leicestershire is where I grew up there are lots of family and friends and never enough time to go round.
Inevitably there were folk I missed but all the family were visited.
But parents are great aren't they?Great for giving you things. I've come away with clothes, drills, a pushbike and a nice new flatscreen telly.!
Jayne has managed the fort all alone whilst suffering with a cold and chest infection. What a trooper!
Her chic Renault twingo now looks like a landrover and is currently full of hay from ferrying it to the fields. On top of all the extra work she had the unenviable task of putting our dog down at the vets last week. He was 115 years old in dog years and his life had simply run it's course. But it's never easy to make that final decision.
We shall miss him. He was the best. R.I.P. Shaft.
So it's back to the day job,we have four weanlings to halter train for a show in two weeks time.An article to write for LivingFrance magazine.Fence posts to replace and I really must do some logging before it's too late.
And then;; just as I finish this writing I've sold another female on the phone so all that goes on hold. We have a delivery to arrange.! It's all go. I'll soon need a break.
